Closer than you think

I recall very clearly the day my other half during a conversation we were having told me quite succinctly that a quite a few others we know are just like us. I looked at her wryly and thought - wait a minute..... I took you by surprise, not entirely perhaps but my penchant for TTWD certainly has surprised those that have found out accidentally or otherwise. Its really not that obvious.

Now her Gaydar is excellent! We play this game GNG (Gay, Not Gay) when we're out. One of us will spot a person and ask the other GNG? Sometimes its obvious, other times its only an item of clothing or the way they do something that gives it away, and often a case of just instinct, you know - THAT vibe.

Well BDSM people are a bit like that too. Nothing overt. A swing of the bum, the shift of the backside side to side while sitting on a chair just a little too long to be comfortable after taking a hiding to remember. Even sometimes that one additional piercing, that second glance up at you - the look...

So when she told me that many others she knows also do TTWD, I wasnt sure she could be absolutely sure. After all would these others perhaps have suspected it about her? Now I'm the sub, I like it that way. I can switch if necessary and have done so mostly playfully. I absolutely love the feeling of my arse on fire. Two days after the beating has ended. It contributes to a constant state of arousal and if the top knows what they are doing, they do it well. But I digress..

Today I was handed my other halfs ipad and read a blog she follows. Yep she was right on the money. Not only do they do TTWD, but they do things differently and the same. It was so good to see that there are other people out there with professional reputations to protect that play the way we do.

And they know what we know. The sex is so much better, enhanced, totally all encompassing.... I never fail to orgasm after or indeed often during a really good thrashing. The release, the subspace unbelievable.

Now that my other half and I are self employed, we dont really care if people know what we do in the bedroom, except for the fact that its not the quietest of activities and sometimes it annoys the children. We go off to a bdsm club from time to time, and enjoy alternative clubbing. Being a teacher, lawyer or doctor engaging in this kind of fetish can often cause professional embarrassment if found out and the result is we have been surprised to discover that even the most outwardly respectable looking people that we know also engage in this fetish(as my other half and I discovered one night at Club Violate).

Of course establishing that her suspicions that some of these people that we know do indeed indulge in our fetish, were well founded, only came up as a result of careful conversation, starting with subtle innuendo and ending in, "dont be shy we like that sort of thing".

The vanilla of this world do not understand pain. Even the nature of pain. I have a lifelong painful condition and there is nothing sexually arousing about it at all. The process of being subjected to an agonising arse whipping that makes you cry while youre about to have an orgasm is totally different to the agony of not being able to walk because of a clinical condition.

For one the pain across the backside is controlled and severe. It is wanted and can be stopped (but I dont want it to be stopped - and in the past when I've stopped it too soon, Ive been disappointed). Secondly the inflicted pain involves trust. The love of my life could make my arse bleed, I'd still trust her, she reads me, she knows what I need from the session and can tell if its time to stop. The safe word usually only happens if I'm not in the right place emotionally, or theres a risk of the neighbours calling the police, or even worse one of my children have just waltzed through the front door, new friend in tow. I enjoy the power play, once having been a commissioned officer in the military, there is nothing like the relief of just submitting. I am an Alpha woman in many respects, but getting home and having to submit, really presses my buttons.

Clincial pain, I cannot control, it has no psychological advantages, does nothing for me emotionally and does not form part of a relationship.

The pain thing is not exclusive to gay people, it crosses all areas of sexual orientation and I wonder whether it could be as inherent to us as our sexuality. Yes born with it. My first sexual arousal from pain was while I was bent over getting the strap from a female teacher - my rear end was on fire, but my front end was decisively damp.

Stone Age Dildo found in Sweden

Its kind of comforting to think that several generations of grandmothers ahead of me also enjoyed that life giving activity that seems to have found its way into the realms of taboo.

I love sex. I cannot believe that any of the generations of women before me did'nt either. And to suggest that they just lay back and thought of queen and country. It's just what we needed to know; that our great great great grand grandmothers several times squared enjoyed sex and in fact enjoyed non reproductive sex.

Now for the prudes that claim that victorian English women were staid and frigid there are some publications that suggest otherwise that also may make appropriate reading.

But really the stone age dildo really takes the cake, doesnt it?

Click here for the full story.

The journey to lesbian self discovery.

The mature self discovered lesbian is becoming more accepted and commonplace. Like many women that acknowledge their homosexuality in later life, I more than likely fit the mould. As a younger woman I wanted to be accepted, I wanted to have children and I did not want to draw attention to myself.

Acceptance is not as preceptive thing as many may imagine. As an orthodox Jewess, fitting into a community inconspicuously as a lesbian, just was not going to happen. So I fitted in as  Jewish wife and mother. I had children, I had a home and a husband. But my sex life was appalling and I didnt relate to either of my husbands as a close friend, confidante, but rather as a neccessary social appendage. This kept everyone happy, except me.

When I reached forty I realised that not only was I even socially incompatible with my husband, but I was emotionally and sexually frustrated. I had done so many other things in an attempt to compensate that I hadnt even realised what I was compensating for. One morning I was sitting in a coffee bar really admiring this subtley beautiful woman and it dawned on me that I would so have liked to get to know her better, with a view to ending up in bed.

All my high school crushes were on women and I loved my female friends very deeply. Throughout my adult life my sexual fantasies always involved women so deep down I really knew. I was even mistaken for a dyke several times, had propositions and had work colleagues that turned out to be surprised when they discovered that I was married.

FInally having met the right girl, at 40 I discovered that my life started to pan out in the way I had always imagined. We spend money on the same things, have similar intersts, a similar taste in books and music and yet are sufficiently different not to lose our own identity and sense of self.

I work hard so that I can grow old enjoying my life with the person that has become the pivotal axis of my life. My children love us both and know that we both parent them just as well as two heterosexual parents would.

I am so grateful for the fact that I live in a first world country, where my sexuality is not a crime and that I can in fact be myself and contribute within that comfort to the society in which I live.

This blog will cover everything that touches my life. Some topics will be directly lesbian related and others will jsut have to do with topics that touch everyone gay or otherwise.

Suggestions for discussion are most welcome.

Handy picnic gadgets

The one and only thing that I ever felt envious about when it came to men was that their anatomy is arranged so that an urgent need to pee can be relieved by a discreet visit behind a tree or similar. The fact that us girls have to find somewhere where the removal of all our lower clothes is not noticed followed by showering our legs and tucked away underwear with pee just makes the world seem so unfair.

I recall referring to my brothers anatomy as his his handy picnic gadget. He could just whip it out and hey presto, he was sorted in seconds. I on the other hand still have a legendary reputation for getting caught short.

Well imagine my joy when I discovered the she wee. Well the proof in the pudding as they say...... This little gadget is supposed to take all though desperate wee moments away. I am just waiting for mine to arrive in the mail, test it out and in the meantime, I'll let you gals know whether its worth the spend.

Penis Envy - No?

My SO and I love experimenting in bed and fortunately we're both adventurous and have similar sexual tastes. There is one thing that continues to mystify us. We're girls yeah, we like to have sex. But..... neither of us has a cock. If I wanted cock I'd look for a bloke, but I dont want a bloke and I really dont want a vein filled throbbing cock on my partner while we get down to business. So what's the issue?

The issue is that we like to play with sex toys. WE like to penetrate each other and every now and then its nice to use something other than our fingers. Now we have a nice little pink dildo that curves slightly and tapers in width along its length, but the really good thing about this bringer of pleasure is that it looks nothing like the male member.

Neither of us like the idea of a strap on, as neither of us identify as male or would like to have male anatomy. Yet from time to time it would be nice to make love face to face in each others arms. The strapless dildo is the perfect solution, except...... they're all shaped like cocks! Is there no dildo designer out there with a little more imagination?

I purchased the feeldoe slim and whoaa was I surprised when I opened it up. If this thing is slim then the Feeldoe Stout will be terrifying! It has a sort of penis looking tip, but I have to say the fact that the vibrator insert is made to look like a scrotum, just took away all my excitement.

I am not a penis envious dyke, I just want a toy that will enable me to penetrate my chick without it looking like I'm a girl that wants a cock.

That said there are some really great clit stimulators and I trawl the internet from time to time to find something new to surprise my beloved with, but its the dildo department I'm going to start looking at and reviewing and if any of you find something spectacular please let me know.